Re-reading my interviews with phenomenal businesswomen, Heather Simpson and Madeline Hornung, I was struck by the common words in their responses when I asked if they experienced any sort of pressure from their families to take a certain path.
The main theme? They're rebels.
Something my little people-pleasing heart did not get over until very recently, but they knew from a much younger age, is that people will have their thoughts and opinions, but if you're not living and leading authentically- you won't make much of an impact.
That knowledge should really impact how much of an influence we let others' expectations have on us.
But if you're more like me, I want you to know that it's ok. You can still be a good leader. You can be a GREAT leader!
We are inherently social beings and from an early age, we are conditioned to seek approval and avoid disapproval from our family, friends, and society at large. This ingrained need for acceptance can significantly shape our behaviors, decisions, and even our identities.
One of the fundamental reasons humans are influenced by external expectations is our intrinsic need for belonging. Being part of a group provides emotional support, security, and a sense of identity. Familial and societal expectations are often internalized because they help us feel connected to our communities and valued by those we care about.
From childhood, individuals are socialized into specific roles and behaviors that align with cultural norms. These societal norms and family traditions create a framework within which people operate, guiding their choices and actions. Leaders, like everyone else, are subject to these powerful social forces, which can shape their professional paths and decision-making processes.
You can rise above this social conditioning, however, and still be a person who lives a meaningful and purpose-filled life. Let's talk about how these expectations are impacting you, though.
Leaders from families with established businesses may feel obligated to join or take over the family enterprise. This expectation can limit their professional growth and job satisfaction, steering them away from their true passions.
You may also hear a lot of fear from those who love and support you when you talk about what you REALLY want to do.
Societal norms often value prestige and financial stability over personal fulfillment. Leaders might opt for high-status careers like law, medicine, or finance due to external pressure, neglecting fields they are genuinely passionate about but perceived as less prestigious or financially secure.
Leaders may make unnecessarily conservative business decisions to align with the safe, traditional values held by their family or society. This cautious approach can stifle innovation and hinder the potential for transformative growth within their organizations. I'm not saying you shouldn't ever be careful, but not realizing why you're being careful can cause more harm than good!
A couple of the reasons you might be proceeding too cautiously is the fear of failure and judgment from family or society. Find yourself avoiding bold, unconventional strategies on a regular basis? This fear can result in missed opportunities and stagnation, all because you're choosing safer and more predictable paths to meet external expectations.
Newsflash: You don't have to be completely overworked and burnt out to be successful.
Did you know that?!?
Societal norms that equate success with long hours and relentless work ethic can push leaders to overextend themselves, leading to burnout. The pressure to meet these expectations can leave little room for personal life, hobbies, or relaxation, ultimately affecting their health and happiness.
Also, we can't have this conversation sans a gender role discussion. Gender roles and responsibilities at home can add another layer of stress. Male leaders might feel the pressure to be the primary breadwinner, while female leaders might struggle with expectations to manage both their careers and traditional caregiving roles. This dual burden can lead to significant stress and reduced effectiveness both at work and at home.
But who says it has to be one way or the other?
There's no doubt, familial and societal expectations profoundly influence leaders' career choices, decision-making processes, and personal well-being. But recognizing and addressing these pressures can help you be a better leader. Why?
Because people can sniff out inauthenticity these days. And you operating on a higher level personally is not only attractive to those who you want to help, but also inspiring in a way that brings about change more easily. Plus, I find that when I'm shaking off these expectations, it's not as scary as I think and I actually have more energy for bringing about positive change!
Wins all around.
And that's why I'm interested in being your Life and Career Coach, fellow leaders. Feel like some fine-tuning could help you work more efficiently and effectively? Click on of the gold links below that match your style best to start a conversation with me.
Can't wait!